I Might As Well Be Happy

The Korean best-seller If I’m Going to Live to One Hundred, I Might As Well Be Happy, is a “comforting, insightful, and surprisingly hilarious collection of life lessons” from retired psychiatrist and essayist Rhee Kun Hoo (이근후 1935-). He offers the wisdom he’s learned along the way on everything from forgiveness and regret to perseverance, letting go of the rat race, the joys of living simply and the power of ordinary happiness.

By seeing our parents for what they are – human – we can finally escape their long shadow

Rhee said: “I’ve always dreamed of my books reaching English readers but now, in my late 80s, that dream has actually come true and I find myself at a loss for words. […] This small miracle makes me contemplate the notion of 인연 (因緣): how all our lives are interwoven in the narrative of the world at large, however many miles apart.“

Connelly said: “From reflections on forgiveness to lessons on ageing, acceptance, the simple life and happiness, Rhee’s beautifully honest writing offers just the kind of solace that we need in our modern age of individualism, distraction and burn-out. His wisdom and insight into what constitutes a life well-lived will resonate with readers of all ages, from burnt-out millennials to reflective retirees.”

As an old Korean saying goes…
‘You learn to use gums in place of teeth.’
(이가 없으면 잇몸으로 산다)

Rhee Kun Hoo was in his seventies and retired from a prestigious career in psychiatry when he took up writing. In his youth Professor Rhee lived an extraordinary life, filled with action and purpose. He served time in prison for opposing his country’s totalitarian government. He led the efforts to fix South Korea’s fledgling mental health system. He built a family and raised four kids.
Now in his twilight years, having, much to his surprise, become a bestselling, beloved writer in South Korea, Rhee turns his pen to the often-overlooked value of ageing. Here he shares his wisdom and philosophy for finding a life well-lived, exploring forgiveness, how to persevere (but also know when to quit), facing your insecurities and opening yourself to the simple joys available to you every day.

“It is natural for the elderly to decline. The elderly should be the elderly. It is like climbing a mountain in terms of one’s physiology reaching its peak and then going down. It’s going down. How do you act as if you’re going up while going down?“

Rhee encourages people to embrace this reality rather than fighting against it. “By accepting the truth, finally elderly people can find what amuses themselves within the boundaries of what they can do.”

“It takes a lot of energy for someone with a negative outlook to become a positive person.
For a positive person, it is like riding a wave.
You don’t have to put in much effort when you’re riding a surging wave.
But for someone with a negative mindset, it is like rowing against the current.
It takes that much effort,“

With his ninetieth birthday on the horizon, Rhee found himself reflecting on what constitutes a life well lived.  If You Live to One Hundred, You Might As Well Be Happy, is his collection of charming life lessons.
Rhee offers comfort, laughter and wisdom for readers of all ages, from burnt-out millennials to reflective retirees, exploring:

• The happiness and liberation of forgiving others – and yourself.
• Why the traps of modern society – the rat race, competition, expectations and the conventions of modern family – aren’t worth getting caught in. And how you should live your life on your own terms.
• Why you should face up to your insecurities and biases about your ageing, mortal self, sooner rather than later, and embrace the overlooked rewards of growing old.
• How good company isn’t hard to find, it’s never too late to make new friends and you’re never too old to connect with youth. You just need to know how.
• Why we should never underestimate the power of ordinary happiness.

‘Life is a story you should read until the very last page. No one ever knows what the world has in store for you.’

Some chapters from Google books:

• No One Likes Getting Older
• Lets Face It You’re Not Getting Any Healthier
• Your Children Become the Parents
• Lifes Too Short for Rain Checks

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And also available in Dutch –
beschikbaar in het Nederlands.

Als iemand me zou vragen welke levensvaardigheid onontbeerlijk is, dan zou ik zonder te twijfelen zeggen: jung-gyeon (정견 / 正見), de kunst om dingen te zien zoals ze zijn, jezelf te zien als wie je bent

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Boeddhisten stellen dat er zeven niet-materiële giften zijn.
Ze noemen ze mujaechilshi (무재칠시 / 無財七施).
Hieronder vallen

• een zachte, geruststellend blik;
• een gezicht dat straalt door een medelevende glimlach;
• beleefde, mooie woorden;
• een vriendelijk gebaar;
• een zachtaardig, begripvol hart;
• aan anderen een comfortabele zitplaats aanbieden; en
• iemand vriendelijk een slaapplek aanbieden.

Denk hier eens over na, beste lezer.
Is datgene wat je het meest heeft geraakt niet altijd een piepklein vriendelijk gebaar geweest?
Bied anderen aan wat jij van hen zou willen ontvangen.
Denk er niet te veel over na, maar begin klein.
Vrijwilligers-werk is niet echt anders dan andere activiteiten.
Je hoeft echt niet heel rijk te zijn of heel veel tijd te hebben om iets terug te geven.